I am not quiet. I don’t sit in silence. In fact, I struggle to sit down for extended periods of time. To do lists constantly scroll through my mind. I am in a perpetual state of scanning my environment with ideas of how to make life more efficient. More seamless. Less cluttered. Less clean up. Less to organize. Less risk. Simplify. Streamline. ( I was watching organization shows on Netflix at 5am for goodness sakes)
But my daughter doesn’t cooperate. She often wakes me up around 4am and keeps me awake just long enough that I can’t go back to sleep. Often, my to-do lists start scrolling and I can’t lay back down without being hit with a wave of guilt for wasting time. So more often than not these days, I am up at 4am.
Sweeping the patio. Doing the dishes. Folding laundry. Organizing the living room. Making countless cups of coffee. But rarely do I sit.
This morning, I could tangibly feel Jesus pulling me to sit and spend time with Him. So, I (reluctantly) sat down knowing that the waves of emotions would catch up to
me if I sat. And thanks to my devotional, they did. The devotional required me to write a letter to Jesus and honestly tell him how I am feeling about moments in my life.
And so I did. And you know what I found in the silence? A gentle whisper.
11 The Lord said, “Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the Lord, for the Lord is about to pass by.”
Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. 12 After the earthquake came a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper.13 When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave.
Then a voice said to him, “What are you doing here, Elijah?” 1Kings: 19:11-13 (italics mine).
We have had a lot of powerful winds, earthquakes, and fires in our lives lately. And although I begged him to give me answers in the midst of it all, He didn’t. And yet, now that we are in what appears to be a lull before another storm, when I obeyed and just sat, Jesus gently whispered to me.
Why haven’t you…”I am refining your skills”
Why did you let…”I allowed that so you would learn to seek me”
Why are you making me…”I am teaching you to surrender”
Why did you send me…”I am teaching you the importance of Christian mentorship”
Each whisper was a specific answer to different moments I asked him about. As soon as I wrote my question to Him, a gentle whisper contained the answer.
I share this to encourage you if aren’t finding Jesus in the wind, earthquake or fire. If you are like me with your stress, your to-do lists, your early mornings and late nights, I encourage you to sit and be still (Psalm 46:10).
