Dirt
Before we get any further into this I want you to know a few things. 1) I do not want to be writing a blog but Jesus told me to. So here I am, attempting to be obedient. 2). Im not a strong writer. I ramble. Im horrible at proofreading. I am not eloquent when I speak (or write) 3). I dont know what I am supposed to be writing about. I just know that Jesus said, write so I am. Rambling. Messy. Without a real direction or understanding of why.
When I began thinking about where to start, Jesus told me to start with where I am, so I will write a post later that explains how Jake (the husband) and I ended up here.And so, my blogging life has officially begun.
As I write this, our power is out due to a thunderstorm and I am sitting in the dark surrounded by candles. B and O are playing in the dark (not well I might add). Scratch that, B is now on my lap trying to press my fingers down on the keys so he can feel like he is the one typing. O is repeating Mom. Mamma. Mommy Jen. Mamma, I work. Mamma, I kiss you (as he kisses my leg).
Regardless of if we had power, this would be my life. I have three kids in my home, ages 5 months, 5 years and 6 years, that need me. Constantly. They need me to listen to their every word. They need me to watch their every move. They need me to cuddle them more than any other 5 and 6-year-old would require. They need me to teach them how to talk, how to sit, how to regulate their emotions, how to eat with utensils, how to be a child. They need me to have a relationship with their biological parents.
Quite frankly, they need me to do a lot of really hard stuff. A lot of messy stuff. They need me to be in the hard places with them. The messy places no one wants to be in.
The courtrooms.
The FST meetings.
The nights when they wet the bed.
The school IEP meetings.
The therapy session at 7:30 am on Friday mornings.
The 45-minute tantrums.
The tears of confusion when they have to say goodbye at visits.
The dirt.
They need me to love them like Jesus loves me- through all of the dirt. In John 13 Jesus shows us what to do with dirt; move towards it. Love and serve people through the dirt and the mess. Jesus literally washed the dirt from his disciples feet. And then he said: Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one anothers feet. I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you. (John 13:14-15 NIV).
So I keep moving towards the dirt. Regardless of how much it hurts me, of how messy it makes my life because I’ve learned there is no place I’d rather be than in the dirt with these kids. I am inviting you to join me in this mess as I try to obey an assignment that I don’t understand. To hear the madness of going from childless to three children 6 and under in just 4 months. To hear the heartbreaking stories of children that society so often wants to forget. To hear the life-breathing stories of redemption that only Jesus can bring.
I hope to see you in the dirt.
You’re off to a great start!
LOL thanks!
I love you and Jake and the realness of your lives Thank you for being obedient. I can now pray more specifically for you.
Thank you! I do try to keep it very real. I never want to paint an inaccurate picture of our life.
This touched me deeply. As someone who prefers neat, clean and organized it can be difficult to let that go and get my hands dirty. Perhaps it’s age and declining energy level. Either way, you have helped me see the importance of making a difference in the present and focusing less on what could be a heartbreaking outcome in the future. Loving unconditionally opens the door to vulnerability. I may have my gloves on, but I’m ready to take my place in the dirt right beside you. ❤️
Oh this melted my heart. We could not have done any of this without you <3
Great Job Jennifer! Very inspiring. I look forward to hearing more😊
You need to give yourself more credit as a writer! This is a very good start!
Thanks lady! Highschool english class took away all of the fun of writing I guess.
Thank you for letting us follow your Life. I think you did a great job on your first blog!
Love you and so very proud of you.
Love! Can’t wait to read more. 🤗
Thank you all <3 Your words of encouragement mean so much 🙂
Jennifer – this is beautiful. I hope your story will touch many, many people. Amazing!
I’m left speechless after reading this blog! You have an unbelievably amazing view at what so many people struggle to understand! I must say, you have always been an inspiration to me throughout the years. May God continue to bless You, Jake and all of the wonderful children who come into your life!